Growing Content
When I was younger, I often enjoyed listening to my dad’s “old-time” rock and roll. Back then, I remember listening to the song Turn! Turn! Turn! By the Byrds and it never crossed my mind that their lyrics that made so much sense to me, even then, were of biblical beginnings.
It wasn’t until much later when I began to explore my own faith that I found these exact words in the bible! I remember the moment. I was sitting at jury duty selection when I saw them, and I recall looking around and thinking, “does everyone know this?”. But there it was in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8. My 20 somethings mind blown!
Today is another turn of the seasons.
On this snowy day in February, I celebrate 39 years of trials and triumphs. I am both sad and thankful for this final year in my 30’s. It’s one that doesn’t have much significant meaning, really, except when I think about it, it has a lot! 38 was full of new beginnings, and I see this year as one of refinement and growing more confident and comfortable in some of those new adventures.
Over the past year, I launched a new company, learned all about mine and my spouse’s God-wired temperments, lost 20 pounds, and I spoke to groups of woman about simplicity. To top it all off, I recently became a homeschool parent. Whoah. That’s enough to have anyone entering their next birthday already feeling worn out!
The ironic thing is…
I am married to a constant. A slow and steady temperament of a man. He doesn’t like to veer off course very often, and it would take a lot of persuasions to do so. He doesn’t enjoy the unknown and thoroughly plans every move he makes.
I, friends, am the complete opposite! It amazes me that simplicity became my call to arms because I often think at a frantic pace. I have so many thoughts and ideas bursting through the doors of my mind at any given time that it’s often hard to grab hold of just one. I’m what my husband has always called a “big ideas” person. Still, there is some truth to the fact that I will fizzle out after the initial excitement most times unless the project is something I am filled with passion and enjoyment from.
I convinced my hubby that for our ‘date day’ this past weekend, we should take a wintery hike into the woods of a local state park we both spent a lot of time at when we were first dating. About a mile and a half in mid-conversation, I noticed him hesitate. I asked what he was thinking, and he began to ponder the darkening sky and the mile marker we had just reached. After a few moments of discussion and a quick google search for the trail length, we decided a turn around would be safer and faster than continuing forward. That’s him. In all his seasons. Calm. Collected. Perceiving possible complications and avoiding them at all costs.
That is not me.
I run headfirst into complications! Now, don’t get me wrong! I don’t go looking for problematic situations. Still, when I see them, I don’t lean toward the least abrasive or complicated method of solving them. Instead, I live in a place of “who said.” I’ll explain that in a moment. You see, on that walk, my husband said something to me that I wonder if many people think and feel about others or maybe even themselves. He told me, ” I can’t wrap my head around the way you want to re-invent yourself at this point in your life.” Of course, my first thought was, Ummm… at this point? How old do you think we are? We’ve got another 50 years ahead of us!
As I thought more about it, I had to acknowledge that God created him with this temperament. He placed a man in my life who would help to keep me from chasing every whim that entered my view. And, even though I often tend to jump the guard rails of his comfort level, I can trust that he will talk through those choices with me and either pull me back in or see the value in me running full steam ahead. He steadies me, and I push him beyond his comfort zone and into new unexplored territory that causes him to change, evolve, and find new joys.
So, back to the “who said” idea we go.
No matter the season of my life, I have always operated in a ‘who said we have to do it that way’ mentality.
Who said we have to work 9-5 or for someone else?
Who said I can’t just become a vegetarian today because I want to?
Who said I have to parent in a specific way?
Who said this is the ‘religion’ I need to follow?
Who said I can’t learn to do that?
You see where I am going with this? It’s not about defiance or stubbornness, but about digging deep and finding the answers for ourselves. This, if nothing else, is a gift I pray will pass on to my children.
Don’t take the world at face value. Question it. Challenge it. Change it.
As I enter into this new season, is it middle age?? Who says! I am standing firmly with a newfound appreciation for the life that I’ve lived for the past 38 years. I understand myself better now than ever before. I would not trade this place of confidence and restful understanding for the late nights and trimmer waistline of my 20s.
Over the past few years, God has equipped me to do bigger things than I had planned.
He’s calling me into spaces that would have made me cringe in the past, and those things will require persistence and perseverance and an ability to tame this overzealous and frantic mind. These things will need a pace of calm, though I don’t mistake that for easy. I am sitting somewhere between the excitement of what might be coming next and discomfort in the unknown. But when we allow ourselves to sit there, not waving it away, we find the unexpected that can lead us to something great.
Launching a company that is beginning to take root and being called to homeschool one of my 3 children in the same season seems impossible, and yet I will. Because I understand that for me to pull it off, it most certainly isn’t plausible. But to do it with Him is. He has equipped me with all that I need. And he has given me a spouse who supports and helps guide me on my quests. And a group of women who love me through the hard times and step in when I get too deep over my head with loving support and helping hands. He has given me people all around me, that encourage and champion my efforts. And a heart that is so full of His love that I can see the truth through the objections of those who may not, and love them fully regardless.
No matter our season, understanding where we came from and knowing where we are going will allow us to press on despite our feelings of inadequacy and incompetence.
God does not call the equipped. He equips the called.
Everyday thoughts and voices of others enter into my mind that tells me, “who are you to do that.” And every day, I have to remind myself that I am precisely who I was called to be, and I have been led to this life that I am called to love. And so are you.
