Quiz: the last time someone asked you how you were – did you reply “busy”? Did that response make you feel important? (It used to do that for me) or did it make you feel sad (like there were things you were missing out on but you didn’t have time to stop and enjoy them) or was it just the automated response that has become the norm. When I began to notice how unintentionally busy I was and how much I wanted to choose slow – I began to notice how often I answered “busy” and where it once made me feel boastful, it now made me feel unauthentic. Yes, I was ‘busy’ but was I joyful? Had busy become a measurement of success? It was like all my interactions sounded a bit like this ” Me: Hey Jan – how’s it going? Jan: “Oh, it’s good.. ya know.. busy…” (proceeds to list said items) – “How are you? Me: “Oh.. same, so busy..” (and then the list) . Both parties, nodding in sympathy, either secretyly relishing or despising that list.
When did we decide that busy means important? That always having a task list meant we loved better and were worth more? When did we decide that intentionally choosing to live slower meant we were somehow inept, unequal, loved our families less, cared less? What if we really get joy out of the things that fill our schedule? What if we detest having to tackle them? (or some of them) Why do we think we don’t have the right to choose? Friends, I am here to tell you. WE DO! You are the one who gets to cross things off, add things on and say yes or no. I understand we all have obligations that we may not enjoy, but most likely, what is keeping you in the cycle of ‘busy’ are things you can choose to change. I challenge you to examine that. To break down “what if I gave up _______”. Would you replace it with something you love and wish you had time for? Would you just do nothing? The truth is if we don’t create what author Emily Ley (A Simplified Life) calls ‘white space’ we will never be able to open our hearts and minds to what we may be called to do. To what passion lies within us or to what in your life is causing you stress, anxiety or short tempers. If we can’t create open time and open space – we can’t daydream, plan for more, recognize destructive patterns or find a place to make large or small changes to create a more joy-filled life.
I am always looking for inspiration to remind me to slow down. (Check out the link under the above image for one of my favorited) It’s a struggle! GIRL is it ever! But, I’ve seen the difference. I physically eradicated anxiety through decluttering my home. I can now clean it top to bottom in hours instead of days. I removed things from my schedule so that I could focus on the items I knew I was being called to do and bring me fullfillment. We reclaimed our finances so we can have the margin to create memories with our kids or help someone in need. This goes on and on – relationships, faith, family, work… there are so many areas we can choose to reclaim. Now, I can dream about my future plans and goals (this blog being one). I can see my children’s struggles more readily and be available to help them. I can recognize when they are excited to show me something or need extra mommy time – because I am no longer ‘so busy’ that slowing down means falling down. I can take time to apologize for a harsh word, or help a friend in need – because of this magical cultivated ‘white space’. Where is yours?
What would you do in your white space? Leave me a comment below
