Boredom is Extinct. Lessons learned while living in my basement.
If you’ve ever wondered what it takes to survive as a family of 5 with less, then move into your basement for a week. Or go tent camping… really either way works and are basically the same thing!
Now, before you roll your eyes at me, I want to say that I am aware that I wasn’t “roughing” it in any way, shape or form. Unless you call not being able to catch up on A Handmaids Tale for the whole week roughing it. That was a bummer. But I did observe some things on our weeklong basement living adventure and they all circled back to simplicity and living with less.
Come along friends, I think you’ll want to hear this.
The Setup
The first question you might be asking is “Kelly, WHY were you living in your basement for week?” That is an important question. Because, without a reason, I am just some weirdo doing social experiments on my family.
Here’s the deal. We recently had our wood floors scheduled to be refinished. My husband and I painstakingly planned how to best finagle this situation with 3 kids on summer break and had perfectly timed sending our kids to spend a few days with their grandparents. Our intent was for us to get a hotel, sans kids and have a little mini vacation of our own. Well. Humidity. Our floors couldn’t get installed when we planned and the whole gig got pushed out to the week AFTER the grandparent visit.
This meant that we either had to spend $$$ to book a hotel for 5 days with 3 kids and board a dog or…
We chose “or” and decided to tough it out by moving a few mattresses to the basement (which has outside access) and just avoid the inside of the house all day long until bedtime. At first, I had some trepidation about this plan but thanks to a week at VBS, 3 hours of each day were accounted for and I just had to keep my kids entertained and out of the house for an additional 7 to 8 hours! Ummmmm….
Now, I could write a whole blog about what we did all week to accomplish that feat but hey, that’s not the point. I will call ourselves out though and confess we ate out more that week than we typically do in a year. Ouch and Blah.
But the time we spent at home outside on our patio, in the yard, at the campfire and together in the basement allowed me to make some pretty spectacular observations and THAT, my friends, is what I want to share.
Togetherness is hard
Being together with our kids and even our spouse as much as we were that week was tough. One of my kids highly values quiet alone time, another thrives on constant contact. You can only imagine the stress and arguments that brought forth. But, being together at this level made me feel more connected to my family than I had in a while.
When you are in this level of proximity, you can see a meltdown coming a mile away. You can tell when your kids are attempting sarcasm over what you would have otherwise thought was sass. You learn – and by proximity and necessity your kids learn – to create their own pockets of quiet and solitude by getting outside instead of retreating to a bedroom or a set of headphones and a tablet. Together is hard. But it’s also eye-opening and loving and connecting. Even though I had those “I’m gonna lose it” moments, secretly I relished it.
Outside play is an endangered species
When I was a kid, I have fond memories of being outside All. Day. Long. My kids, however, seem to think 10 minutes of outside play is “forrrrreeevvvveer.” Geesh kid. When I was that age, we were still playing flashlight hide and go seek at 9 pm. Oh the good ‘ol days.
Now, as we continue to fight the age of technology, it’s getting harder and harder to get my kids to spend unplanned, unscripted time outdoors. But, during basement dwelling week, there was no other option. So, we walked trails, visited parks and lakes and played in the woods at our house. My middle child started a secret fairy garden in the woods, my oldest rode her bike, lounged in a hammock and explored the brush for berries and bugs. My littlest – even with his arm in a cast – happily tagged along with everyone else.
We had campfires and they chased lighting bugs and it was all the joys of summer in this one week. Actually, as I remember this week and write these words, I am getting a little emotional. It was so simple. It was what childhood should be. Easy, carefree and fun. Smores and bug spray and late nights.
Boredom is extinct
When did we become a society who felt we had to entertain our kids at all times? When did we stop believing that boredom is a benefit? Boredom creates curiosity and imagination. It’s when our kids learn to explore, experiment, craft and make new friends. When we create an environment that is chronically stimulating, we raise kids that require more, bigger and better all the time.
A week of minimal toys, minimal technology and very minimal indoor time forced my kids to be bored. Sometimes we would just sit on the outdoor furniture set and talk or snack. Most of the time they would wander off to find something to keep them busy. They played together. They talked and planned ideas together. They washed the Power Wheels Jeep and learned how to tie a wagon to it to haul each other and other stuff around.
This shouldn’t feel so amazing to me. And yet sadly, it does. Because my kids will always choose less imaginative things to do. Less physical things to do, even though I try to push them outside. It’s always a fight. Watching them do what I had always assumed my kids would, made my heart feel at ease.
Boredom is a gift. Not just to our kids but to ourselves. If we never have white space in our day to think, dream, write, plan or just “be” then we will miss out on bigger things. If we are constantly in “go” mode, we will keep our minds too busy to explore the prompts we may otherwise be given. Those prompts could lead to amazing things that could change your health, your family, your income, your neighborhood or the world. But you need to be bored first.
We need less than we think
If you’ve been hanging around the blog or Facebook page for a while, you know that my “thing” is all about choosing to live with intentional simplicity. For me that means living with “enough” for me and my family. Enough toys, clothing and material goods. Enough commitments that make me happy and serve others but not so many that they burn me out and wear me down.
Simplicity leads to empty space in your home and calendar, healthier finances, and stronger bonds with your family and more loving relationship with yourself and for me, my faith.
In the week of the basement dwelling, I recognized all over again, how little we really do need to make a life.
In this week, my kids all lived out of one laundry basket each and they only touched a third of that! My husband and I still had access to our closet so we had a little more at our disposal but I found since we were gone most of the day, I wore what I started the day in and made it work regardless of our plans.
Meals were kept simple and leftovers were a thing. Mealtime gets so complicated sometimes. But, a bag of salad mix and some pre-shredded rotisserie chicken makes for a great lunch or dinner. We kept a mini fridge with the essentials and some dry goods in the basement with us and no one was left wanting.
Money had to be stretched and so we searched for free things to do like visiting friends, parks and local lakes. We hit up the movies but didn’t indulge in all the snacks that cost more than the ticket. Most of our “entertainment” was just hanging out on the patio and playing on the swings, or with the dog or the chickens, or following the cat to see what adventure he was up to!
This week reminded me that it takes very little to make a content life, if you can learn to value contentment above stuff.
Less stuff, less commitment, less responsibility
The biggest observation for me this week is how little responsibility I had when there is just less of everything.
During basement dwelling week, I was wrapping up my final week as a virtual assistant for a company I had been with for 2 years, which meant more work than normal as I transitioned our new V.A. into the role. In normal circumstances, I would’ve felt really “busy” with doing this, keeping up with the house and making sure the kids were scheduled and entertained. But on this week, I just handled the workflow from the deck table while the kids played outside … or from my parent’s table while the kids played outside … or from the park table, while the kids played outside. See where I’m going here?
And there was little to no responsibility for cleaning, other than to “pick up” each day so our sleep quarters were cozy and the food that needed to be cleaned up was thrown away.
There was no mopping, sweeping, toy collection, couch cushion re-setting, office desk organization, massive piles of laundry folding or sink full of dish doing to be had. And while I understand that practically speaking, life can’t continue without some of those things, it did remind me of why I started this RECLAIMED journey in the first place.
Because life with less, is a life with more. More time. Less cleaning, organizing and picking up. More space for what you love. More ability to take care of your own health.
When you, mama, aren’t so overwhelmed by the day to day of life, you can actually start living again.
You can start dreaming again. What’s that business idea you have? You can tackle that desire to meal plan and create a healthier life for you and your family. You can give your time to that cause that means so much to you. You can invest into your kiddos they way you always dreamed. You can take that weekend trip with your husband that you’ve been “too busy” to do or maybe you just get a few extra moments to paint your toenails, plant that flower or read that book you’ve been waiting to read.
Whatever you choose, make it intentional. Don’t allow your life to pull you behind it, while you’re digging in your heels trying to stop what’s become a freight train of commotion. YOU were gifted THIS life. You get to choose today to say enough. You can choose intentionally simplicity and it’s a choice I promise you wont regret.
If you are ready to get intentional here are a few free worksheets to help you get your thoughts organized:
“Finding My Values” is a 2 page PDF to help you get aligned with what matters most.
Return to normal
The floors have been completed and we’ve “moved” back into the house. And while they are beautiful and everyone is happy to have more than one bathroom, I already see the effects of too many options. My middle daughter has already re-acquainted herself to spending time alone in her room. My oldest has paced about complaining of boredom, suddenly sure that I am supposed to entertain her again. My youngest has toys scattered about and needs constant reminders to pick up.
It’s only been one week since basement living and I haven’t sat on my patio furniture at all. I haven’t had my coffee in the quiet of the cool morning breeze with just the birds chirping for company. And I can honestly say I miss it already. I know I can’t stay there forever, but I’d trade multiple bathrooms for a few more weeks of that simplicity.
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