February 27, 2019

Why we can’t give truth

“I can’t give someone my truth”

This statement was made to me in response to a question I asked in a Facebook group about helping someone who doesn’t really want to be helped. I already knew what people would tell me, but I still needed the reassurance of my decision to simply love them from afar and mind my business. ( That’s not always easy for me.. shhhh.. don’t tell anyone.)

This sentence stopped me in my tracks though and I have gone back and re-read it multiple times to make sure I heard it just right. For some reason this felt so profound to me.

I can’t give someone my truth.

At first I worried, if I can’t give someone my truth, how can I ever show them what has helped change me? How can I show them the joys and passions in my life? Does it mean that no one will ever really want to hear those things that have altered me and my family?

If I can’t give you my truth, does that mean that when I share that my life has been changed immensely through simplification and intentionality, does it mean those that hear aren’t listening?

Let’s say you tell someone how you FINALLY lost weight and got healthy, and it leads them to feel encouraged and accepted, isn’t that giving them your truth?

What about when you tell someone how you finally got out of debt and they ask you how you did it and look to you for your guidance, isn’t that giving them your truth?

When you share how you finally broke free of addictions, depression, anxiety, hurt, sadness, rage, anger…. and the one who hears is thankful for your transparency… because maybe they are living in that place too. I would believe that you are GIVING them your TRUTH.

But we aren’t. We are sharing our story.

We are bringing people into a deeper relationship with the authentic “us”, but what motivated me and you to make a massive shift in our life is unique to us. That drive that created the forward motion and the passion to keep putting one foot in front of the other, even when it got hard, that is a gift and a journey that belongs to us alone.

No one else can truly feel that. They haven’t lived in our hearts or fought our past struggles. Maybe they haven’t started and quit, over and over, the way we have on this journey. That person didn’t need to tackle ‘it’ for the specific reasons that we did.

Maybe they haven’t found the ‘other side’ of the hard work and walked in that freedom.

So yes. I can share my story.

But, I can’t give you my truth.

It’s mine to own, mine to live and mine to believe.

I can’t give you the joy I’ve received from my truth. I can’t change your life with my truth.

But you can TAKE my truth and make it yours. You can believe in your own way. You can find your own joy and change your own life by taking my truth and allowing it to become yours.

My truth is that I challenge the lie that women have been sold telling us that we get to choose between 2 things:

Being so busy (being everything to everyone) that we save nothing for ourselves

Being the one who says “I give up” and instead refer to ourselves as “a hot mess” in such a way that we essentially have to make fun of ourselves out of fear that others might judge us.

But my freedom is that I found another choice and it is intentional simplicity and it started with me believing that I got to have a say. That I can choose HOW I spend my time and WHO I spend it with. As a family, I believe that we get a say in how we spend our days and in WHAT our family VALUES most.

Then, I get to FILTER my choices (my yeses and nos) through this lens.

That filter led me to a whole home declutter and curating of my calendar, priorities and obligations.

I believe the truth that when we build a life around THOSE BELIEFS, we take control and get to fill in the blanks how we see fit.

You can take my truth. You can own it and make it your own. I am here if you want help through that journey. I am here to hold your hand to the other side of hard until you find your freedom. All you need to do is pick it up and walk, run or crawl.

Progress is progress. It all matters and so does your happiness and health.

So if you know you want to get started but you are just not sure where to begin, you can get my “Where to Start Guide” for free and use the prompts to lead you to find the most beneficial place to begin your decluttering journey. If you could use a journaling prompt to help you define your values, download this worksheet.

Your truth doesn’t have to be what you’ve been saying to yourself. It can be different, whatever ‘it’ is for you. Today is your day friend. Let’s do this together!

– with all my heart